DALLAS – Southwoke Airlines is proud to announce that the recent spate of canceled flights over the Christmas and New Year holidays due to our antiquated reservations systems were actually a huge win for diversity, equity, and inclusion at our company.

As you may know, Southwoke has been working hard to promote diversity and inclusivity in our workplace, and one way we’re doing that is by canceling thousands of flights. By doing so, we’re ensuring that our pilots and flight attendants get to spend more time in diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) training sessions, regardless of their race, gender, or orientation.

“Canceling flights is one of the most inclusive things we can do as a company,” said Southwoke CEO Gary Kelly. “We want our employees to know that we value the time they spend in company sponsored struggle sessions, no matter who they are.”

While some might see canceled flights as a negative thing, we see them as a positive step toward a more diverse and equitable workplace. And we’re not alone – many of our customers have praised us for our commitment to diversity and inclusivity.

“I was a little disappointed when my flight got canceled, but then I thought about all the good things it could mean for Southwoke as a company,” said one customer. “We all know that being on time is being complicit in white supremacy culture. Cancelling thousands of flights altogether is the ultimate pushback against our European oppressors.”

Of course, we understand that canceled flights can be inconvenient for our customers, and we apologize for any frustration or inconvenience they may have experienced. But we hope that they can see the bigger picture and appreciate that any urgency in replacing our outdated computer reservations system smacks of the Protestant work ethic and is based on the oppressive nature of Northern European immigrants’, something we refuse to tolerate.

So the next time your flight gets canceled due to our Apollo era computer reservation systems, don’t be upset – be proud that you’re flying with an airline that values diversity, equity, and inclusion above all else.

For more information, please visit our website, where we’ll be posting inspiring stories from our employees and customers about how canceled flights have changed their lives for the better and made them more inclusive and tolerant.